Because I am so unnecessarily angry at my husband. There. I said it. I know it can probably be chalked up to PMS and/or crazy fluctuating hormones and/or stress. I feel awful about it, I really do. I know that I have the best husband that a girl could hope for. He is my best friend and has been incredibly supportive during the ups and downs (mostly downs...) of this whole process. Since last night though, he has been on my last nerve. And you know what is completely ridiculous? It is irritating me the most that he just expects me to be OK with everything! I mean, the nerve! I am acting perfectly OK, he should know that deep down, I am going to lose it (no, I am not really that irrational which is why I know this is hormone-related, I am always the calm, level headed one. Except for now.) Ugh, I thought venting on my blog would make me feel better but instead it is just making me feel like a jerk. So my bloggy friends, please realize that a lot is going on right now and that I do (deep down) appreciate everything my husband does for me and how lucky I am. But just a little part of me is angry at him that I am in KS with no family, few friends and absolutely no one to talk to about any of this. Except the internet :)
So as I am typing this I have Pandora internet radio playing in the background. Sometimes I feel like God is sitting there laughing at me- and here is why: as I am typing I hear:
Where you go through life
So sure of where you’re headin'
And you wind up lost and it's
The best thing that could have happened
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah that’s when you find yourself
Ok God. I get it. I am being a brat and need to go focus on my stats homework and stop whining. Thank you.
jonah rockin' the xylophone
6 years ago
Definitely hormones & you know I've been feeling a bit of the same these past couple of days. I too feel so blessed to have the amazing husband I do, but these crazy hormones still cause me to feel annoyed with him lately. And I absolutely agree we need to hook up, especially now that I know you aren't from here either & also don't have family around! Shoot me an e-mail at rebecca.keunen@gmail.com & we can talk details:) I started out seeing Dr. Von Wald (but she just went on maternity leave) & so Dr. Tatpati completed our IVF cycle, they're both at Center for Reproductive Medicine, I'm assuming you go there too b/c I think they're clinic is the only RE clinic in town? Small world indeed!
ReplyDeleteYes, it is partly hormones but I understand how you feel. I am away from family and it is so hard going through all of this without having family here to hug every once in a while. I get angry at my husband because he is the one that moved us here away from everyone. So, I have days that I do not like him for that. It will pass. I promise. Just hang in there!
ReplyDeleteSince bumping my Clomid to 150mg I hate my husband, lol. Well starting about day 3 and continuing for 2-3 days after my last dose. Everything that comes out of his mouth just annoys me. I think last month i even yelled at him for breathing to loud while we were watching a movie. What makes it worse is I know I am being mean and hateful, but I just can't help it. Which of course makes me feel even worse.
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